Posts Tagged dresses

Credible Feminism and “Being Nice”

The following is taken verbatim from a letter I wrote to the New York Times on July 31st, 2013, in response to an article where the author spoke to the desirability of asexual dressing and avoiding being nice just for the sake of smoothing social interactions:

Credible feminism drives equality of power, pay, opportunity, and recognition. It’s not about wearing pants to deny or distance gender. Men and women are naturally and irrevocably different in their sexuality: behavior that celebrates this — including that which drives sexually tuned plumage — is not only reasonable, it is healthy.

Women will never bridge the very real gap by attempting to subvert their own sexuality, because in doing so, they cede many cues of desirability to others.

The same thing applies to “nice.” Nice people are selected ahead of others for many roles simply because it is perceived that it will be more pleasant to be around them. If you eschew “nice”, you cede yet another social slice of desirability to others.

In either case, such a choice is completely up to the individual — but the consequences won’t be.

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Ladies: Step it up

Ladies, this is a message from a fellow who really, really likes heterosexual women, and appreciates it when that affection is returned. Most men won’t tell you the truth about what they like in person, because they don’t want to offend you, and yes, because they fear rejection.

I thought it was about time someone just bit the bullet and was straight with you. You know all the advice in “Cosmo” and its sister magazines? The “high fashion” fads? Well… look, just… fuhgeddaboudit. You know as well as I do that those people have an agenda, and that agenda is to sell you stuff. My agenda, and I am being completely honest here, is to let you know what it is that men actually like (I am a man, so you can be dead certain you’ll at least impress me) so that my view of the world improves. Now — which do you think is more honestly aimed to inform you of the truth? Cosmo? Or me? With that in mind…

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